I’m kinda bored, I wanted to take a nap because I was tired but now I can’t even nap. And inspiration to work on my writing is at the moment on vacation.
Its as official as a celebrity divorce on a rainy saturday in L.A. No more Bryce, we are now and will be until whenever work associates. Alot of drama happened over the weekend and is still happening…in the form of phone calls. voice mails and emails …and I’ve decided I can’t deal with it anymore. Its more stress than I need and he has turned into a complete psycho. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve said and heard all I needed to say and hear.
My buddy is out of town at the moment so that leaves me feeling just a little bit lonely. lol I’ve just been bored out of mind today and tired today, so I’ve entertained myself with my puter and movies today.
My leg is doing better. Just a lot of soreness now, I’m not gonna do any extensive walking for awhile, which means..no field days for me for a little bit and because I won’t have field days, I won’t have any super early days either. I guess thats a good thing.
My life is changing, not only do I see it..but I feel it as well. Its kinda strange, I feel myself leaning in a much different direction that what I’ve been going and I don’t know if I like it but I’ll go along with it. Its never too late for one to mature (again) I guess.
I’ve been thinking differently about the things in my life, the people…my views on certain issues …even men. I’m not gonna swear off men, I’m too weak for that..I know where my strengths lie and men isn’t one of them, so rather than give them up, I’m going to …..
refine my tastes. This doesn’t mean discriminate against certain individuals ..but it does mean that I am going to be a whole lot more careful in my choices. I feel like I just keep handing over my whole unprotected heart to people only to have them kill it or throw it back at me. I have to be a bit more protective of something so precious. I mean, I in general have a love for all people. Seriously, all anyone has to do with me is ask and I’ll do my best to provide them with what they need, that was just the way I was raised. But this thing and the situations with men…
Something’s gotta change, alot stuff that I’m doing is getting me nowhere. Call me weak but I guess I just need to step back for a little bit. This situation came about with Neil and I found myself completely disoriented. I have a different feeling about him and towards him than I did about Bryce or even my ex but its kinda on the same level of what I felt for my ex…does that make sense?
I’m protective of all my friends…male or female, someone says or does something stupid to one of them and I’m all over the offender. Of course I don’t go picking fights, but I stand up for them. I just don’t like the fact that it has come to that, that I had to do it because of another person’s jealousy. Adults….behaving like children. I am so disappointed in Bryce, I haven’t felt this much disgust since I was married.
Why does it have to be so hard with some guys? The easiest thing in the world one can do is respect the another person…so why is that so hard for some to do? I realize that its not all guys…and women do it to…but I’m speaking about men now. Why is it so hard or frightening to just let a woman know what it is you are really feeling? It can’t be rejection, especially if you grew with alot of women in your family, have very good female friends or a female sibling. ….it can’t be rejection if your credit is more screwed than you are. ……it can’t be rejection if you have lived through and survived high school, there is no way a guy should still fear rejection and yet ….they do.
WHY?! Man…..if half the guys that I’ve had conversations with over the past 2 weeks just told, flat out told said female with whom they are infatuated with what they think and feel about them…I GUARAN DAMN TEEE that they will all be happy. Even if a relationship doesn’t come out of it, they’ll be happy because they conqured what seems to be a serious fear.
Why are guys soooo afraid of women? What in the hell can we do to you that your males friends can’t? If I were a guy, I would seriously fear my male friends more…especially when alcohol is involved. I don’t understand all of this fear that men have of women. Is it something that has been embedded into the male mind at a young age…..mom and grandma = women everywhere, so if you are unable to please your mom or grandmother, the fear of not pleasing woman as whole is set??
Get outta here! Ok….well, I agree with this one thing, the way a mother interacts with her son will ultimately determine the way he interacts with women. So if you are respectful of the very first love of your life (your mother) that is a behavior that will be present throughout the rest of your life. I believe that. I have seen men who treat their mothers like shit and do the same with the women they date. Of course it starts at home, every behavior a child picks up, every quirk, philosophy or belief starts at home first, as they grow up they either strengthen what they’ve learned or been taught or …..they replace it with new knowledge and beliefs (which isn’t a bad thing at all).
I guess I am just wanting some answers for some of the male behaviors I’ve seen. I have been looking at a full spectrum of men for some time now.
I know men that are just…….sweet as can be. Respectful, loving and would bend over backwards to make their interests happy and yet…women seem to not want these guys.
I know men that *Hate* women, with a passion……and get all the damn girls in the world, falling at their feet, pursuing them!
I know men that are sooo very shy that they dare not even speak to a woman because they are afraid that she won’t respond and these very same women…literally chase these men. (strong silent type)
I know men that are confident in their abilities to fulfill a woman’s needs and yet women won’t touch them because to them, they come off as overly cocky, arrogant and conceited.
I even know of men that just don’t care and go with the attitude of whatever happens…happens and these are the men that women will also over look because to them, this type of guy seems not to have a goal in life. He seems unstable to them. That couldn’t be further from the truth. The have their priorities right and they know enough not to stress over a future that is uncertain and changes everyday. They have plans and they know what they want…but they won’t stressout over what they can’t see.
You know after reading what I just wrote….if I were a guy, I’d give up too. Women are nuts…we are fucking nuts. We want what is sure to do us damage and hurt us, rather than what we know will keep us happy, what will be good for us and what in the long run is the right choice.
For that purpose, I have always recommended that men and women alike date actively. I think people have the purpose of dating all confused.
Playing the Field, Dating, Courtship, Gentleman Calling whatever you want to call it is done for the purposes of finding the one with whom you’d be comfortable spending the rest of your life with. The best thing I can recommend is for people to “serial date” …make no commitments to one until you are sure that is the person you want to be with. Let it be known that you are “serial dating”, this serves 2 purposes for you…you have released yourself from any assumed commitment that might be made and …you have given the cue to the person you are dating that they may need to step it up if they want you. It works for both males and females.
All dates don’t have to end with kisses or sex…as a matter of fact, you are alot safer emotionally and physically if you don’t kiss or sex the first, second or third date. However, if thats what you want…..
Becareful, dating isn’t just about you…..its about everyone you come in contact with so be smart. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with “playing the field” as long as you let the one in your company know that, that is what you are doing. Women will only resent you if they feel you have lied to them, led them on or purposely hidden something they needed to know from them.
Have no fear! Don’t fear her, she is just a girl or woman. Sure she’s pretty, she smells nice, she exudes loads of confidence and sexiness and when she walks you feel as though you are going to faint but remember…
before she put on all that make up, those pretty clothes and that intoxicating perfume…she was a plain girl sitting in her bathroom trying not to vomit from her nervousness of being out with a guy that she likes (because if she didn’t like you, she wouldn’t have accepted your invitation). Without all of her womanly embellishments, she’s just a woman wanting affection and companionship just as much as you do.
Have confidence in yourself, that you can make said woman happy should you choose to do so. Be confident in your manhood and in your abilities to show a woman a good time. There is no pressure. Just date…make a friend or two or 10..its ok. Honestly…you should start worrying about relationships until your 50th Wedding Anniversary rolls around because by then, you will have given her everything you could have possibly given her…..love, respect, fidelity, children, grandchildren, hopes, goals that you’ve both met together ..a wonderful life…..seriously your 50th Anniversary is when you should worry…she has everything she’s ever wanted, So what gift can you possibly give her that will get the “wow” factor out of her.
Worry then…..don’t worry now. Dating is the easy part, being in a relationship is a breeze….its marriage and its longevity thats gonna mess with ya, but if you two are right for each other…it won’t be a problem.
Just so everyone knows…problems don’t magically disappear when you get married. Sure you don’t have to deal with dating anymore..but you do have to maintain a relationship and ensure its livlihood. All of those wonderful things that you do while dating, NEED to continue after you marry her….for the rest of your lives together. Communication needs to be constant and your willingness to understand the other is a must or else….you’re doomed.
For now though…..have fun, date, get to know more about the opposite sex as you do. Find out what women respond to and why, learn how to achieve the “wow” factor for them. Take the time that you date to learn about how you interact with the opposite sex and how they interact with you. You shouldn’t fear or dread dating. You shouldn’t look at it as a job or a mission either. Those things tend to scare women off. Just be natural. Take her out, show her a nice time, show her what being with you is like..give her a little taste and she will then let you know if she wants more.
So what if she declines a second date…that just leaves room for the one that you are compatible with to have an entry. In a world as big as this……in all honesty, there can’t be just ONE person for you. There can be the one that you will choose love and hopefully suceede in loving for the rest of your life …but there is no just ONE person out there. Thats a depressing thought actually. The one for me could die in a train wreck tomorrow and then I’m stuck by myself forever…no. I think that there is more than one person out there, there has to be and I refuse to believe otherwise.
In the words of Jamie Heineman.. “I reject your reality and replace it with my own!” 😛
But seriously, I believe that because….I know I was in love with my ex and believed him to be the ONE for me. Things went horribly wrong, so does that mean that I’m going to be without a mate because of a divorce. I don’t think so, I think there are at least maybe 5 other people out there that I know I would be happy with and when the time is right, something will be done about it.
Friendships serve more than one purpose…so while you are out looking all over the earth and planet for Ms. or Mr. Right…try looking at the girl sitting next to you that has grown up with you and has already shared much of your life with you. Or the friend you made in high school or college that hasn’t left your side, takes your shit and dishes it back out to ya with a healthy side of “kiss her ass”, or maybe….the girl that you walk by everyday, she says hi.you say and keep walking while she congratulates herself on speaking at least one word to you because she has the biggest frikkin crush on you.
Pay attention to your surroundings and the people in them, you might surprise yourself.