Why is it….that when I have something to say that no one wants to hear it BUT when others have something to say, I am obligated to listen?
Why is it that when people make commitments to do things with you that they can break them so easily without a call or anything but should something come up that I HAVE to take care of and I call to let them know ….its a big deal and all of a sudden I’m flaking, I’m not respectful of someone’s time, I don’t give a shit…why is that?
Why do I care?
Man….I have been suffering some serious friendship abuse lately and as much as I love them all (you all), you guys are gonna drive me up a fucking wall.
Lets talk about why I’m pissed today. TODAY!
Chelle is pissed because last night – you bunch of degenerates all but lynched my ass for having to take care of something important. I called each and every one of you and gave you this message either on your cell phones or directly to you – “I may not make it tonight, something serious came up and I NEED to take care of it, – if I can..I’ll stop through, if not I’ll talk to you later.”
That was sufficient enough without me having to give information that I didn’t want to give. Did we say, oh hey that’s cool – do what you gotta do…..no instead we said and I quote one in particular..”whatever bitch, you’re just a flake anyway.”
You know…I can and am able to look past the things that some of you say and I did last night because the person that said that was already drunk – but still……….don’t. Don’t assume or presume to know a situation when you don’t, don’t say dumb shit like that – ESPECIALLY when you are the very definition of the word flake.
Talk about rude awakening – 9am I wake to my phone ringing with a drunk ass girl on the other end just spewing all types of insane crap but she doesn’t stop there, even in her hungover state she managed to insult the hell out of me, offend me deeply and then on top of all of that…list reasons why she feels obligated to be my friend and if not for those reasons – I wouldn’t have my “most valuable friend”. So Erika was here this morning (she stayed the night) and still is …and when she saw me staring into my phone with a look of complete and utter shock …she tried to get me to speak. Oh and I now know why someone hasn’t called or even bothered to contact me thanks to my lovely and adoring friend.
There were a few ways that I could have handled the entire situation this morning…I could have taken the high road – over looked her drunken stupidity and hung up the phone to deal with her later, I could have explained the situation so that she had an understanding as to why I couldn’t make it or I could have stooped to her level and just ripped into her or hung up on her and went back to sleep.
Well I couldn’t look over her this time – the stufff she said, was stuff that she meant and there was no looking over any of it….and I don’t have to explain shit to anyone about what I do, who I do it for or whatever – its my business…..going to her level – its really hard not to and there was so much that I wanted to say to her but two wrongs don’t make a right (and I’ve been chanting that quietly to myself all morning)…..so I hung up on her but I didn’t go back to sleep. I sat up in the middle of my bed and told Erika everything that the crackhead said. And I’m with Erika, after the night we had – I really couldn’t deal with anymore drama and I really couldn’t believe some of that stuff came out of lil miss wanna be perfect’s mouth.
I know that with any type of relationship you are required to be as flexible as a rubber band – I’ve bent over backwards, put my legs behind my head and contorted myself in ways unimaginable for my friends and I’ve never really complained about it, my only complaint if any is in wondering how they get themselves into such situations but thats it, its never voiced – not unless its just a really really bad situation and last night was one of them.
Flexibility and love….may I remain the elastic sappy masochist that I am for the sake of friendships because its abuse. It really is.
So I said that I would talk to the girl that has been doing summersaults on my last nerve when she calls again – because she doesn’t know how to let shit go. She feels that she should know all things even when they don’t concern her- whatever. But we will talk, I’m hoarse and I’m not for yelling, I had enough of that last night. Right now I need coffee and then I’m gonna veg with Erika.
So that this post isn’t completely on the horrors of friendship.
After making my phone calls to let them know that I may not make it…I called Erika to do the same – you know what she said?
“What’s going on…nevermmind that, I’ll be there in 5 minutes.” and appeared at my doorstep in 6. When she got here – she said where are we going and that was it. I’m telling you – I felt like we were a super hero duo after that..lol Thats my girl. She’s pretty much my sister, we are just that close – even when we don’t agree on things, and we rarely do, it doesn’t get in the way. We have our moments too – we have had some pretty bad arguements but even after all that.
I can honestly say that the only time we had an issue in which our friendship was in danger is when she dated a guy that I dated shortly after we broke up. That was a seriously hard thing for me to deal with and because it was, the whole time she dated him, I didn’t talk to her. After almost a year (because he cheated on her) we talked and our friendship resumed. I guess it shouldn’t have been a big deal but I felt betrayed, disrespected and pretty much like our friendship didn’t matter when she did that. Not to mention – I broke up with the guy when I found out he was cheating on me and when I told her why we broke up while she was dating him…well
It only came off as me being jealous..lol There was a little..but I knew the same would happen to her because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.
Not promiscuous but Man-Whore..lol
But anyway – enough of me bitching..I’m gonna go find out what the woman is burning in my kitchen. *whispers* she’s not the best cook.